My Valentines Day Will Go Like This

This is how my Valentine’s Day will go
12:30 “Hey single ladies. Guess who’s single this guy!! How you doin’!!”
12:31 I was just doing Joey Tribiani. It wasn’t that bad of an impression!!”…
12:32 What do you mean you’ve never heard of Friends?
12:33 Hey! Come back! Good bye my love!!
12:45 Big mac, fries and large soda followed by a chocolate heart watching reruns of Stargate!! (Single tear)106px-Men_don't_cry
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Long Time Maybe See!!

I have not posted on my blog ‘Last-Loophole’ for some time. This is due to the fact I have been working on some material to finally take the next step and submit professionally. I know, I know!! I am probably nowhere near at top-level in most eyes!! But here it goes!

Sadly I cannot publish in any way the poetry and other solicitations. I will gladly be posting more personal events, however absurd but true they may be.

I ask all my fans to give me a vote of confidence by finding the posting stating my recent submission on my Facebook page URL:  easybreeze83. Please comment on my past works good or bad!! Criticism can be just like pizza; Even when it is bad it is still pretty good. Ha!!

Any other comments to the Editor in charge of poetry would probably help.

Sayings of the past! Future Say What?

“A watched pot never boils! ” “Two heads are better than one!” ” There is more than one way to skin a cat!”

Any takers? Let me rephrase that: WTH!!

How many times have you heard these sayings from your obstinate grandfather or adamant grandmother or parent frustratingly unwilling to waver their opinion? But that last one makes me wonder what whack-job would want to torture an animal; Not to forget my cat-catching neighbor who is the cause of many ‘ Treat Your Neighbor as Yourself’ fueled prayers.

I prefer to hope it was meant in another way like ‘crap(sic) or get off the pot’ actually means ‘move out of my lane or drive faster’. I would like to try my hand at some new-era sayings. ” A #:Late is #:Fired”. “You’re as fresh-pressed as a dentist’s magazine collection.” Hint: Oldest magazines ever!

Furthermore, let refer to some disconcerting sayings to tell the guy who enjoys cat-murder: (They don’t necessarily have to mean what they say. But it is more gratifying that way.)

” Come over here and get a knuckle-sandwich”

” Two hits. I hit you, you hit the floor!”

” You can put lipstick on a pig…” (That one is for everyone on here to laugh at. But, something tells me it was written by the same creep mentioned in this story!)

“LIGHTNING NEVER STRIKES TWICE” (Allow me to disagree)

World War 1                World War 2

Gulf War 1                     Gulf War 2

George Bush                ” Fool me once…”

The Flood                      Armageddon (TBD)

” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”(Let me prove this)

Julia Roberts                  Lyle Lovett

JESUS                                  Mankind

“Scars heal” (Just ask these people)

9/11 survivors

Vietnam Veterans

Rape Victims

Tiger Woods circa “Wife beats Woods” (Okay that one was for my personal laughter)

“(sic) … will make you go blind!” (Still in progress)

Donald Trump

Washington, D.C.

“It never rains, but it pours” :

Detroit

West, Texas

GOD promised in scripture that the world would never again be destroyed by water. (I don’t know about you, but I plan to be gone when the ‘pour’ comes)

Proof We Speak Different Languages! Weekly Writing Challenge:1,000 Words Take Two

Photo Courtesy of The Daily Post

Photo Courtesy of
The Daily Post

The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.-Ecclesiastes 1:8(B) (biblegateway.com )

(Man, in his mind) “Love was so much easier when I was a kid. All I had to do was snatch five dollars out of my mom’s purse, pick up some Sweethearts at the candy store, and give them to my friend Ashley as we hung out in the tree-house on the abandoned pecan plantation.

Now, I had to borrow 5 thousand dollars from my father. No doubt he will not stop hounding me to pay it back at every single Sunday brunch. (Sigh) Ah..! She will never believe I am about to propose. I still can’t believe it is going to take me 28 payments of $39.95 to pay for the ‘ice-rink’ she claimed she had to have before she would ever get married. And what’s worse, I couldn’t have proposed in the park we live by now. Oh No!! I had to book 2 tickets to Ten-Buck-Two, make reservations at the Hilton hotel, and spend 3 days trekking the hard brick streets of a country that charges triple for a romantic dinner just because the napkins say ‘International Steak and Ale’ instead of just Steak and Ale.

Our waiter looked and sounded like the same guy back home. Because he said, ‘Would you like to try the wine?’ in a broken European accent, I was forced to play the hero and tip $100. I could swear those people on the other side of the street are my neighbors from two doors down. But I love her!

(Woman, also in head) Are you kidding me? I love him more than anything. What does it take to get a man to propose. He could have done it at the park. That way I could have called my family and they could have across town to see it. But no! I had to follow him half-way across the world. ‘Isn’t it going to be awesome, he says’. But I love him more than life itself!…

Should I tell him that is my parents and our neighbors the Williams’ across the street? What can I say? Don’t try to keep a secret and then write it all over face-space. Ha!

Copyright  © Dustin Poteet

Questionable News

Loophole Syndication News

Fire fighters in the Town of Clay-born responded to a warehouse fire in the 200 block of Jackson Avenue 1:25 A.M. Saturday. The facility is currently being leased by Clean-Water Inc. Spokesperson for the company claims before the accident Clean produced 10,ooo bottles of filtered water a day. Jon Brown, the Chief of Tilton-Clay-born Fire Department provided this statement:

“The brave and dedicated rural-area firefighters were forced to watch the building burn while looking for the closest source to draw water.”

Copyright  © Dustin Poteet