Salute Your Appendage





John-C_-Breckinridge-with-mustacheWhat Are They Up To Now?
By Dustin D. Poteet

Have you ever wondered where somebody has vanished? We all know what happens to celebrities in Hollywood, but do we know what happens to those iconic appendages that stole the spotlight? What about how they broke into the entertainment industry?
We all know Tom Selleck for his role as the power-wielding patriarch on a top police drama. But the mustache deserves the accolades. In 1925, Chuck Mustache was born in a municipal hospital in England to lacking parents. But this pitiable upbringing was no crutch to Mustache. At 14, he worked his way through theatrical academy as an air filter inside a Ford Model T in the Bays water area of London. At age 19, the popularity of these cars stopped and Chuck went into a year long depression.
The Mustache family was unable to convince their boy to reclaim his pursuits till at age 20 a kind benefactor gave a present of a plane ticket to Los Angeles in the United States. But movie careers are hard to come by in Hollywood. The grit that he developed from a year of pain gave him the ability to persevere. But the big break he was reaching for did not come for many years.
In 1932, Mr. Mustache finally landed a substantial role in Freaks. It is not sure whether or not these scenes were edited out as Rick Nasal was Chuck’s hairy stand-in! An attempt was made on his life by a rival actor. The assailant was never identified. The weapon was clearly a rusty straight razor. The toughie was released from the emergency room after receiving a tetanus shot. Fear of dying in a hospital kept him from ever visiting a hospital again, even after his romantic interest Frances Farmer was put in an asylum in 1943.
Things made a turn for the better when in 1954 he took a personal vacation to Detroit. His history in the automobile industry excited made him curious of Michigan’s advances. Most people think Mustache gave birth to Tom Selleck. But during this vacation, he donated his rough-and tumble personality to the newborn Selleck by means of a short romantic tryst with a woman named Martha.
In 1980, after combining efforts, both Mustache and Tom scored the leading role of Thomas Magnum. A feud concerning possibly naming the character Chuck Magnum was put to rest by way of a monetary settlement.
The rest is history. You have seen the power-team in blockbusters such as Coma, the Sacketts, and the TV drama Blue-Bloods. The only time they did not accompany one another on film was during the 2004 television movie Ike: Countdown to D-day.

Works Cited
Wikimedia Commons


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